How to talk to your children?

The technological revolution and the high degree of employment work do not leave us the opportunity to pay sufficient attention to the full development of children. Computers, TVs, set top boxes, tablets and more, and even replace the parents and the child taken away from each other. How can today to raise children? Social and psychological development of the child occurs continuously, every year of his childhood . During this time he learns the social experience, values and attitudes. It is important to remember that just as a child is the formation of mental processes, the development of intellectual abilities and social formation. And then, what kind of person your child will be completely up to you and its environment.

The child accepts the norms and values that prevail in your family, and in the subsequent processes them, changes and adapts to their individual needs and life goals. But besides all-round development of their offspring, you have to remember that communication between you - the cornerstone of the child's interaction with you and the world. Since our dynamic time parents are paying too little time with their children, then let these crumbs of attention will be at least good quality. So, what busy parents need to know? First, the communication is reduced not only verbal, but also non-verbal contact. These include facial expressions, gestures, posture, tactile contact. They are important to consider the interaction, as even in a small age, children recognize the language of communication. Here are some tips. 1. Most important and one of the most fundamental of human needs - the need for love, the other being wanted. Her satisfaction - a necessary condition for the normal development of the child. This requirement is satisfied when you tell a child that he is dear to you, need, is important, it's just a good. Not for the fact that he is a smart, beautiful, calm, successful, assistant and so on, and just like that, just for what it is. These messages are contained in the welcoming looks, gentle touch, direct sentences: - "It's good that I have you." - "It's good that we're born." - "I'm glad (a) to see you." - "I like you ..." - "I feel good when we're together ..." Even if you are not able to say these words, we should not forget about the tactile contact . Hug a child to a few times a day. The four arms are essential to everyone just for survival, but for the well-being needs at least eight hugs a day! And, by the way, not only the child but an adult. Agree that if you hug and said a kind word for a reason, you will immediately lifted the mood and has the energy for the achievements. 2. Equally important is the psychological support of parents. This is one of the most important factors that can improve the relationship with the child, improve or enhance his self-esteem. With a lack or absence of appropriate support to the child feel frustrated and prone to various misdemeanors. To learn how to support the child, the parents may have to change the way of communication and interaction with him. Support is based on a belief in the innate ability of the individual to overcome the difficulties of life with the support of those it considers relevant for himself. To express support for the need to: - Build on the strengths of the child; - Avoid underscore his blunders; - To show that you are happy with the behavior of a child; - To help break up large tasks into smaller ones, those with whom he can handle; - To bring humor into a relationship with the child; - Allow the baby to solve problems where possible; - Demonstrate optimism; - Avoid disciplinary rewards and punishments. Support can be through: - Individual words ("beautiful", "neat", "beautiful", "healthy", "forward"); - Statements ("I'm proud of you," "I like the way you work," "This is progress," "I'm glad (a) your help," "thank you", "good, thank you", "I am pleased to (a) that you are in this part, "" I'm glad (a) that you tried to do it, even though everything was not the way you expect, "" Knowing you, I'm (a), that you all do good "); - touch (pat on the back, touching hands, gently lift the baby's chin, bringing her face to his, hug him); - Joint actions, physical participation (sitting, standing side by side, gently guide him, play with him, listen to him, eat with him). 3. What not to tell the child: - "If you're good, I'll love you." - "Do not expect me good while you do not stop ... do not start ..." - "Knowing you and your abilities, I think you could do better than that." - "It's too hard for you, so I'll (a) will do it." - "Do as I said, otherwise ..." - "And I warned (s)!" - "What are you waiting on?" - "From you it will not work." - "I myself (a) know what you need." - "You're too young to do what you want." - "I was your age ..." - "You always (or the same - you never) ..." In some of these phrases directly inform the child that his take is conditional, that his love only "if ...". Conditional, the estimated attitude to the man at all typical of our culture. And so you should avoid such phrases. Others phrase literally humiliate a child as a person. Inhibit motivation, and sometimes will. No less important is the manifestation of your own feelings and emotions. Do not hide your weaknesses, mistakes and failures. Many parents are mistaken thinking that must demonstrate a perfect example to your child. Do not do it, otherwise the child will not learn empathy, complicity. Do not learn from your example to overcome life's difficulties. Also, do not hide negative emotions towards the child when you are angry. However, their costs do not begrudge the child as a whole and its individual actions. You can blame the child's actions, not his feelings, no matter how undesirable or impermissible they are. If they had any, then it is reasonable. Dissatisfaction with the actions of the child should not be systematic, otherwise it will turn into a rejection of it. Here are few simple tips that will help correct relations in accordance with the lifestyle of your family and individual characteristics of the child.