Why did they choose loneliness?

Hard to be lonely. It would seem that you can live the way you want, or under who do not adapt,   professional self-realization.. However, most women are very vulnerable: they need love, they need to feel safe. And public opinion has no partner as something distinct from the social standard. A single woman is difficult to come back in the evening to an empty apartment. And ... it is difficult to give up their freedom.

I feel ambivalent - recognized the 35-year-old Olga, assistant deputy. - At work, I fly like the wings, and come home - rolls blues. I am passionate about the work, proud of my independence. But sometimes I think all it would give, only to have a family, children. Then comes the morning, I drive to go to the Duma, and say to myself, If you want to become a hen? What are you, crazy? 

Fear of intimacy

"Women hassle of trying to explain the reason for his" defeat "on the personal front - says psychotherapist Anna Varga. - But is it enough to listen to their judgments about men, to follow the logic of their behavior, to conclude that the basis for their action is fear.

Fear - the key word. "And some fears are imposed on others, - says Anna Varga - so, for fear not to meet anyone in its path is often hidden fear of the meeting itself, with the desire to start a life together - the expectation of betrayal: a woman is sure in advance that it deceived, and prefers to do not to enter into a relationship. " That is why many are choosing temporal relations: we are now living together, but it is, in draft, because tomorrow may be someone interesting. "This instability increases the fear of rejection, especially in women - says analyst Lola Komarova. - Because they, unlike the men are looking for in the partnership in the first place affection, not sexual gratification. And the gap, the loss of affection is perceived hard. Having lived through it once, a woman is likely to be afraid to get excited again. "

Quite often the determining factor in the behavior of women is the fear of intimacy. It's not about intimidation , and the difficulties to adapt to the other person - it requires emotional cost, but because it seems too difficult - says Anna Varga. - This is the fear of losing oneself, to dissolve a partner in the family - in other words, the fear of absorption. And often, feeling the strength to defend his "I", women prefer not to get involved in the "adventure."